what you didnt know

Friday 26 November 2010

I love you. You're sleeping sooo peacefully after a long long talk where you asked me to change the relationship status. :)

I told you that my "woman's instinct" tells me that you will be very happy before Jan comes. Maybe me coming will not entirely make you forget the stress about getting a job, but I hope that it will make you abit happy for awhile.

Just be patient my love. it is only three more weeks till you get to touch, hug, kiss me again. Although you do not know it, I do. And I will do all the smiling for both of us.

I tell you that your friends will know how much I love you...they will know when you tell them how I did my very best not to tell you. Keeping this BIG secret inside me for so long, while talking to you and missing you every day has been near impossible. However, as the time draws near, I hope that I can keep to this and remain silent about this. I love you.

Your bro said that he wanted to bring you on holiday because he is helping me la :) although he is a very nice dai lou, I doubt that he is so nice that he will use his Asia Miles to come and visit a country that he had just gone to a few months before.

Soon I shall pretend to "send" the scarf to you. HAHA. be prepared for some emotions as it will become "lost" in the mail.

Even now, through all the uncertainty, I can still smile in my heart knowing that I am going to see you soon. Although you may be working at the time, well it doesnt matter so much anymore. Yes I was quite disappointed. But now I guess I'm working hard at trying to see the bigger picture. And now there is even one more reason not to tell you, so I will definitely be stronger about not telling you la! The reason is that I want the best for you, and I dont want to affect you in any way. (although today i swear AGAIN i was so close to telling you because you were just so stressed about BNP and I just wanted to make you happy.)

Honestly sometimes I need to remind myself that I am really going to HK in three weeks time because I have kept it inside me for so long that I am starting not to believe that I'm going ^^

I love love love love you hun. And it is true like what you said today, good things happen altogether at once, so I WILL PUT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, I WILL GO TO HK, I WILL SPEND THE WEEK BEFORE XMAS WITH YOU, AND HOPEFULLY, YOU WILL GET A JOB BY THEN.

<3 you tons.

Drove through the city @ |{00:04|
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Thursday 25 November 2010

So pissed at you right now. Although it's not your fault and this will probably be a stupid blog post.

OMG. I was emo-ing over this hong kong plan la.. and then you told me not to be so demanding, when I asked you why you have to sleep so long. WTF ng kei yip.

you said " lei ng ho yi gum gaaa" WTF

please la. I'm already doing so much for you. and you can tell me im being demanding ie. also being selfish, ie. just thinking of myself.

even without the HK thing. i dont think it is very demanding since you said you would talk to me on weds, but because you needed to study you couldnt. FINE i understand. and now you don't even think of like, being nice or whatever, in fact. the 40 mins talking to you half of it was you saying you wanted to sleep, and that you wanted me to sleep.

so pissed off now, already im so dissapointed about the hk plan, and you make things worse.

and what makes it more annoying and sad? that i can't tell you why, and that I can't explain why im so sad, or pissed or frustrated.

because if i tell you that im sad, i still cant tell you about hk plan. you are being so inconsiderate but you dont know it so i cant blame u

suen la.

diu. so freaking pissed off at you right now.

bye.

Drove through the city @ |{03:19|
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Sigh hunny.

I know it's good that you're getting job offers. BUT WHY MUST IT START IN DEC.

The reason why I'm being so "lui yan" is because of this la. Not because I have some stupid woman's instinct OMG. this is so insane. lol. i think you also thought I was acting up and being all weird and unlike the baby u know.

it's 3 weeks till I see you again, but I kinda don't look forward to it anymore because there is a high chance you wont be able to spend time with me :( i know this is very selfish of me, but I really planned this for so long, and I did think that you might be working, but I thought even if you worked, you'd start way earlier,then you'd be able to take leave and if you didn't find a job, you'd definitely find a job starting in Jan as the year came to an end.

I didnt foresee things becoming so last minute..:C it's really been stressing me out, and the cause of my short bursts of emoness you sometimes see on skype.

What makes things worse is that now even if I cant stand it and want to tell you, I can't because your big bro and I are afraid that me telling you will make you not wanna take the job, and men should always view their jobs as important right?

This is what has been giving me headaches because I really was looking forward to spending my week with you, and now I can't even share my problems with you because I don't want it to affect your decision. :(

I've planned so hard for everything to be just perfect. :'( and now this is something I cant control.

LOL I got those pills for you too you know? so you see, I even controlled my own natural functions just so everything could be perfect. But I guess not everything is in my hands, and although I used my super efficient organization skills (I swear I should put this surprise planning into my CV) I still cannot control this one.

It really is good for you to have job offers babe. Really, I'm not mad at all. In fact, if I wasn't coming to HK I would be soo happy for you. I know you probably think I'm being a girl and being afraid of you not being able to spend time with me, but really, do you think I am that childish? and that I wouldn't understand? Of course I do understand hun. I really do. The only reason why I'm not as happy as I should be is because of that ONE week that I will be in HK.

I really want to spend all my time with you. I did so many things just so that I could have some time with you, and make you happy, and keep my promise to see you once every three months. I pretended I forgot about that promise, but I didn't. It just sucks, because I put in so much effort to make this plan work, I managed to convince my parents to let me go home for two weeks, I managed to push my assessment date earlier so that I could fly ASAP, even found pills to delay stuff..and now... sigh.

I'm sorry, and when you find out about this "sad" part you're probably gonna say "Why didn't you share this with me?? You should share all your worries with me maa??" and baby, I really do wanna share it with you, but knowing you, you will realise how much effort I put in and you will let it affect your decision. ANd also the fact that your dai lou will get annoyed with me because he will think I'm being selfish, which undeniably, if I do tell you, and force you to make a decision, it WILL be very selfish.

:'(

Sorry hunny, this post might make you feel bad, but when you read this I probably will be very happy already because whatever it is, at least I get to hug you, and keep my promise to you, even if it means that you might not be able to spend most of your time with me. I guess whether I like it or not, I'm still coming because everything is booked ( although honestly speaking right now I am so so so so so so bummed out about it that I'm not even looking forward to it anymore) and ANYWAY I GET TO SEE YOU AT LEAST.

(lol im trying to make myself feel better)

my lovely dai lou also said.. "aiya nevermind la if he cannot be with you I will bring you around laaa. its the same ga la... we are from the same mother ..."

omg i really =.= dunno what to say. i was like "omg dai lou. it is DEFINITELY very different"

and he just laughed =.=

I've been stressing out to so many ppl, but really, what can I do, but pray that somehow things will work out?

I totally told you everything already but you didnt realise, and you said "stop with the hypothesis" lol. I even went and told you how I was gonna surprise you, but you still didn't get it :)

Sigh. I love you so much that even if it means I won't have you for the whole day, it's still okay.. at least I hope I can still be okay.. I'm trying hard to.. but it's just that right now I'm abit dissapointed that what I planned cannot turn out.

Still. Alot of things are changing at the moment, and you havent accepted any job offers yet, so keep our fingers crossed yea?

I'll be okay when you read this, I promise. But right now, I gotta pretend that everything is okay when deep down I'm just sooo dissapointed because I've been looking forward soo much to this and now.. sigh.

I love you hun. And I'm sorry if this post sounds selfish. But let me emo for awhile, and then I'll pick myself up and look at the bigger picture. I always want the best for you, even if it means I will get a little dissapointed.

I still look forward to kissing you in real life, and not through the screen. Any little moments with you is worth the wait, the money, the effort, everything that I put into this plan.

I love you.

:'(

Drove through the city @ |{01:43|
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Tuesday 16 November 2010

hohohohoho! :)

So, obviously, a surprise as huge as this one needs crazy planning right?

No way I'm gonna dissapear for 13 hours without u realising. SO, I came up with this idea that I would go on holiday :D:D:D:D

(shit i forgot if i posted about this yet but oh well. i am a confused child)

Spent days (no seriously - i had to press all the bloody countries that had flights departing london at a similar time to mine ie. at 10pm on the 16th..pressed frrom Aarhus to to bloody Zaragoza - and repeat among different websites ie. ryanair, bmi, easyjet.....)

*KILL SELF*

but whoosh! I suddenly got an idea!! why not look on lastminute.com??! cuz they would have all the different flights and they would have hotels too! (obviously nearer towards the date u will ask me a million questions about my flight and my hotel because you worry that i dunno..the plane will crash and floods will happen and your babyy girl will be lost forever =.=)

so that's what i did. mind you, this is after at least two weeks of trying to search for a flight. so imagine my happiness when i found a flight to dublin at 2130 (yeah i know half an hour but i can say its a delay right right??) for a reasonable price on lastminute (in case u check - suspecting tht i will come to hk..though Janice says if u even had the slightest idea you would ask me non-stop about it)

I FREAKING HOPE U DONT KNOW. :S cuz there were so many times you could have found out lor I swearrrr....

so when i posted "dublin!" up on my wall..as expected..you liked it..and then I got my col friends to say some stuff..as well as the other posts by my friends...Rachel who said she got the confirmation..and westlife..and aaron kumar who unknowingly helped (yeah he didnt know of my plan - i figured the less ppl i tell the less chance of u finding out :D)

so now everything looks quite authentic.. now i just have to talk about dublin now and again...and ask u to look for stuff to do in dublin..:D

OH PS:

whatsapp conversation with ur bro:

Enz: OMG dailou! one more month! IM SO EXCITED! haha sorry I have to tell u this cuz i cant tell him!

Raymond:Hahaha..yes I can see that...=p

Enz: Im so proud I didnt tell him yet heehee!

Raymond:haha ya I understand, only me on this earth know=p ya dont say anything, im so proud of u too!=p

Raymond: *sends image of wallpaper*

Raymond: Hey this is my new wallpaper. u are on the bottom right corner =p

AWWWWWWWWW. *TEARS*

I have a place on his wallpaper!!!!??? so sweeeetttt!! i so wish i could lansi to u about this now but i cant cuz then u will ask me why im whatsapping him..and then u might go see his iphone..and who knows maybe he didnt delete our whatsapp convo then DIE.

anyways wooo hoo!!!!!!! 30 days more!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I LOVE YOU HUN :D

Drove through the city @ |{19:14|
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Sunday 14 November 2010

You were so sad and annoyed at all the couples on the street.
You said you hated this time of the year, because you're always alone.
='[

You promised me we'd kiss under this exact heart!

The decorations look so beautiful.
I can't wait to see them with you.
I'm sorry I can't tell you about this now hun.
But this will be your best christmas present ever!

I Love You.
Always
And
Forever.

En-Li

Drove through the city @ |{03:46|
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Thursday 11 November 2010

Hey LOU GONG (yes if you remember today is the day tht I gave u the right to be called lou gong for 24 hours through one of the "missing you" pills :)

Anyways I shall continue my story after such a long time of not typing here.

As before, my dad was supposed to book my tickets home, and I thought I would just handle Hong Kong as a last minute decision. I thought I better just get back to Malaysia first, and then only think about how to get to Hong Kong.

So, I told my dad to go ahead and book tickets to Malaysia..

AND THEN.......

My dad suddenly called me up one day, and said "Sweetheart, its cheaper if I buy the HK tickets for you as well, so make a decision now! If not I won't buy the tickets anymore..But if you want to go to HK you need to get someone to go with you if not I'm not letting you go"

T_T I was so stressed because I wanted to go soo badly, and my mom definitely was out of the question because her leave was going to be used to come to UK..T_T

Capri almost saved my life here. She mentioned she wanted to go back in December, so maybe she could stopover in HK to come with me.. but then I thought that it wouldnt be good because we would want our alone time right??? RIGHT??

So I tried to tell my dad not to worry la...that I will stay with HK friends la.. (not mentioning your name of course) but my dad wouldnt have it. He maintained "either u go with someone or you dont go at all"

Dont be sad lou gong, it wasnt because he didnt want u to be near me that he wanted someone else to go with me, but because he was afraid of me staying in a hotel alone (obviously i wasnt gonna tell him you would be staying with me ma)

SO, what did your smart awesome gf do then?

She ran to her darling cousin.. and asked her if she wanted to go to HK with her :D

And surprisingly! she did!! :):) She said she didn't mind (see this shows she likes you and supports us okay!) and plus my mom had mentioned to her about coming with me to hk.. (see so my mom was also trying to help me by asking my cousin to go with me)

:) so now at least there would be someone coming to stay with me;)

So my dad bought my tickets for me.. that was settled. but wait, how long would I be staying for?

Obviously if i go back to malaysia my parents would want me to spend christmas with them, so thats why I wanted to go back so early...SO, i emailed my college, and told them I had some relatives wedding, and had to leave early..so if they could arrange my assessment to be earlier I would be soo happy :)

THEY SAID YES!!

So I decided to leave on the 16th night, arrive in malaysia on the 17th evening, and leave for hk THE VERY NEXT DAY SATURDAY AT 9AM!!

When daddy asked me when the return ticket was.. he asked me..."23rd la har" then i said"....can it be the 24th?" AND HE SAID OKAY! (see my daddy actually sort of likes u..either that or he has given up haha)

haha so im gonna fly back xmas eve. sigh i know its sad baby, but what can I do, even coming to HK was already so hard to get to, I dont dare tell my parents tht I wanted to spend christmas with you; as it would be unfair to them, already they let me spend half of my holidays in hk. :*( sorry darling.

so it was settled. from the 18th till the 24th :) En Li will be in HK with her lovely LOU GONG.

the next problem:

HOW TO GET HOTEL?

At first I was already happy enough that someone was coming with me..but then I started to feel bad about leaving my cousin alone if I went out with u..and plus if she stayed with me in the room, you would have to go home at night, and since you said you didnt want me to stay in your room.. how???T_T

heeheehee.

please kiss me right now if im next to you, because I think im super resourceful and smart.

I called my cousins bf.. and literally bribed him to come along. :)

the exchange: if he went to hk with her, i would have to be his "ngor dai" when the "zimui" is planning the obstacle course for him on the "zhip san leong" day.

HAHA yes I sold my very own cousin out for you LOU GONG!

PLus, I'm the Maid of Honour so I will be doing all the planning. ho ho ho. like infernal affairs right?? :D

SO he told my cousin that he wanted to go along...and YAY my cousin was more than happy. and I told them to LEAVE ME ALONE. :)

Obviously, if the guy comes along i wouldnt wanna be in the same room as them, and my dad knew that ( only that he thought my cousin and i will be sleeping in one room, and my cousins bf in another room) HAHAHA! so we had to book TWO rooms, yes baby. please kiss me again now :D:D

SO now u can stay with meee!!! :D:D:D:D

and actually the rest u kind of know already - i told u to research cuz my cousin and her bf wants to go to hk in jan, and u came up with that hotel.. Harbour Plaza Metropolis..heehe so unknowingly you also helped. I couldnt ask your dailou because he was in China at the time for the taekwondo...

heeheee.

Hotel - Check
Flight - Check

Now all I need to do is plan how I will surprise you. Felix and I have a few plans, and Janice too! We will see how things go la!

BTW, today u said, "When you come to HK, we will stay in a hotel for one night"

Well LOU GONG, I have given you 6 nights instead of just one..how does that sound :)

I think I have brought the planning stages up to speed, so this will be the last "episode" from the past, from now on, only up-to-date episodes:)

OH PS:

YOUR BRO KEEPS ON CALLING ME ENEN which is sooooooo cute laaa.

Im arriving on the 18th, and Judy's convocation? graduation? is on that date, so he asked me if I wanted to join and surprise u there..but sadly, Im arriving only in the afternoon, so I cant join..:*(

Haha I doubt u can remember this..but on the day he asked me I actually asked u if you knew anything about Judy's graduation day. It's a day that you will remember forever Lou Gong, but you don't know it yet :)

But u see!! I'm almost part of the family already :)

I love you Lou Gong. And now everything is almost settled apart from things that need to be done closer to the date.

like what?

How will En-Li account for the 13 hours that she will be uncontactable on the flight back to Malaysia?

How will she get to Hung Hom?

All this remains to be seen in the soon to be episodes of En Li's surprise to her lovely lovely Lou Gong!

MWAH I LOVE YOU

(sigh i cant believe I have kept this in for about a month already. I think Im very amazing to have not blurted this out to you every single time youre sad or you miss me)

and you miss me every day.

You look at me and tell me how much u wanna hold me:( and I have to keep a straight face, and be emo too :D

I love you hunnybun.

36 more days!!!!!!

Drove through the city @ |{01:13|
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Monday 1 November 2010

I have this thing that im feeling right now, and I feel like im going to tell you.

Again, today you said you wished I was coming. And again, I tell you I wish I could come in December. Although it's funny to think how you will be surprised and I will SO beat you in surprises if I manage, its also really sad for me to keep this from you. You looked so sad that I really wanted to tell you there and then. But as I've been keeping it in for about 2 weeks now, I will continue and see how much longer I can keep it in for.

:) I want you to know how much I love you, and I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. :( Dont be too sad love love! I'm coming :) in 46 days - one and a half months! :)

AHEM. ok sad things aside :):)

IM SO EXCITED. looking at all the hong kong----- (this is where I realised that I was actually typing in our usual blog. OMGWTH THANK GOD I DIDNT POST THIS UP OMGGGG. KILL ME IF I DID. HAHAHAHA)

phew that was a close call. anyways. im looking at like...malaysians who have been to hk..and disneyland looks so fabulous in the winter!!! :) i even went to the website:

ok i dont know why the picture is so bad quality!! but omg. one reason why i wanna tell u so bad is because IM DYING to plan stuff with u. BUT NO I WILL NOT. NO NO NO.

This is one group of bloggers that i frequently read. They went to hk last year in november. they said it was really really cold..like 9 degrees OMG so excited.

we MUST take a picture like this ok? ok promise me please:)

ahem. ok. yes. SO I WAS THINKING OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR IN HK. hahah ok im really excited now...but i dunno why i cant bring my ass around to actually continue the episodes. sorry love love.

i keep on like..going back to the thoughts of hk and how happy you will be. :')

oh and that day u sent me a pic of tsim tsa tsui. HAHA. i will be there sooonnn baby!!!!! (was looking for the photo tht u sent to my bb but apparently i didnt save it BOO)

i love how you are still so positive although u dont know tht im coming. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH for that. i love you i love you.

ahem ok. sleepy nao. PROMISE I WILL WRITE THE EPISODE NEXT TIME!

LOVE,

your princess.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

Drove through the city @ |{03:59|
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Chronology

Hello!
I should have written earlier
episode 1: en-li figures it out
oh deary deary me
episode 2: en-li does the convincing
oh nooo
sorry I have to post again twice
omg
episode 3: en-li gets things going
you sent these to me today
episode 4:en-li gets her plan in action
stressed
urgh
you
16 more days
hong kong cravings
11 more days
stupid tony chan
single digits!!!
aww hun hun
you just gotta have faith
just a fast one

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